It’s not possible to keep my thoughts to myself. I re-read and re-write and I die each time I see a smile, I feel a touch, I read a thought of fear, of hope, of impossible desire. I’m locked with him and her in their tiny space of timelessness, I’m immortal like them, I weep with them and embrace them, separately and together. There’s no one I could talk to, no one I can share all this with, no one can understand, I can only seem crazy and vain. I told a friend I have been teaching myself to keep the bad things to myself… not burden people with everything I feel. That applies to the good also… I wish I could break my promise now, but as punishment for making myself unreachable for so many, no one is within my reach at this very moment of endless, divine bliss. I’m torn to pieces and I’m reborn each second, every time I blink and I see the world be resurrected over and over.
They say there is no pain one cannot endure. I don’t know about that, I never had to endure much pain… I only know that there must be a limit to enduring bliss. If there isn’t… then I’ll shortly know what God feels.
