An eternity had gone by, when he heard a throat being cleared somewhere, and he knew it was time. Even if he fell, it was time. He lifted his hands above the piano keys, undecided where and how to start, forcing his brain to send waves of recognition into his fingers before they dipped down into the keys gently, instinctively hitting them without his knowledge.
He sang the melodies that were engrained in his soul, songs that came back to him not during the rehearsals that week, but only now, for the first time for so many years. He felt them again as his fingers felt the black and white keys and his throat felt the waves of his breath that travelled forth in the shape of his voice. The notes soared and plunged with ease; they travelled on wings of voice, washed by waves of white key and sustained by rocks of black key. He sang to himself, or someone other than him did: the songs followed each other automatically, one melody starting a new one, tightly knit together like reassuring heartbeats. He had lifted so many people up with his voice which now, gaining courage with every song, was lifting himself up, and for the first time since he started singing, he understood the power of the gift he had been given. As the high notes tore his heart out from his chest and the low notes soothed his pain with their deep murmur, he felt he was reborn with every sound his throat emitted. His ragged memory brought back faces of all the millions and millions of people whose appreciation he accepted, but never understood; he heard their laughter and weeping echo within his soul, and he knew now what they had felt.
For some time now a question won’t let me be.
Moments of surreal bliss that I experienced listening to your voice, moments I know many others shared with me; when I become one with the Universe and I feel everything is possible; when I know I can never be alone in this world, because everything’s connected. Your voice induced such moments.
I want to know. Do you feel like this, ever, Josh? Can you feel all that, which I can’t put into words, hearing your own voice?
Can you feel it?
(photo by “quelquechose”, The piano player from www.deviantart.com; excerpt from A walk by the sea, by Krisztina Csiki- unedited version)
